Monday, April 6, 2009

Blog Names Are Never Pretty

Nanny Garcia's Mississippi Homecoming has been going swimmingly. Swimmingly as in swimming in alcohol.

On Saturday night, my whole fam got all polished up for the big engagement bash for my sister Rotel and her fiance Diego. It was pretty classy - which means I couldn't find the hard liquor. Fortunately, I had a handle of whiskey in my nanny-sized pursed.

Several of my home friends, including Bobbie Jean, were in attendance, which made the whole mingling-with-your-parents-friends thing considerably less awkward. Not content to leave the party only half trashed, the younger half of the part made our way to the after party at Oldest Sister's house.

It was a pretty successful night. I kept it all classy by pouring myself a wine glass full of whiskey and then following it up with an even bigger wine glass filled with whiskey and water (I start the evening out with momentum and then slow it down as my hand-eye coordination starts to fail). The latter concoction was pretty nasty, but no one agreed with that more than Oldest Sister who, mistaking it for iced tea, gulped it down and subsequently threw it back up. Whoops.

I vaguely remember passing out on Oldest Sister's couch after Dora's Oldest Brother left, sometime around 1 or 2 am. The next thing I remember? Puking and showering at 6am.

A few hours later, we were up again, this time to get to church for Little Thug Baby Nephew's Baptism. After which the drinking started up again at my mother's Baptism brunch. I knew I was in the South because everybody kept calling The Baby's Baptismal gown "gay". After ten or eleven mimosas, though, I was too wasted sleepy to defend cross dressers anymore and had to pass out take a nap.

But I had to start drinking again just a few hours later so I could celebrate the Braves beating the shit out of the Phillies for Opening Day of the 2009 MLB season. Whoop. It was my thug baby nephew's first baseball game EVAH so I was thrilled he got to see his team win.

N-E-Wayzz ... tomorrow I'm taking Rotel and Diego to the airport and then spending the day with My Sister That's Closest To Me In Age (aka MSTCTMIA) and then the next day I'm driving into the county with Bobbie Jean to buy some cheese from the Mennonites that live out there. So I'll post when I can, but if you miss me terribly just look at this picture My Little Thug Baby Nephew and My Kook Of A Father and rest knowing there'll be oh-so-many more to follow when I get back to a place with real Wi Fi.


  1. that is a great picture! (and this from a guy who is usually a jerk, eh?)
    their expressions are perfect, both equally proud! what a beautiful baby boy.

  2. That picture is so great! (and this from a guy who is usually a jerk, according to Nanny Garcia.)

    Their expressions are perfect, both equally proud! What a beautiful baby boy.

  3. Gee, your visits home with the family sound a lot like mine - lots of alcohol involved, although it's usually one of my sister's who ends up passed out on the couch. I miss Small Hometown, MS's Mennonite bread.

  4. It's time for a new blog.
    Entertain me now!!

  5. "It was pretty classy - which means I couldn't find the hard liquor."

    Comedy gold.

  6. love this picture dear, love it!