I would tell you about my dream, except I can't relive that shit right now. Instead I'm going to watch infomercials in an attempt to focus away from the gaping loneliness an uncomforted nightmare leaves.
Judge me, if you will, for continuing to sleep in my parents' bed past the age of 20. That shit is comfortable. Sometimes I'll camp out in their closet until somebody vacates their spot so I can creep in. I do this even if it's just a midnight bathroom break. If they seem firmly planted, I start on my Momz's side of the bed and gradually scoot until my presence has been duly accommodated. I show no mercy.