Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lost in Calculation

Sometimes being a nanny involves complex mathemathic equations.  I'll save you all the details, but through very complicated operations, I equate the energy of an obese deadhead (not naming any names here) with that of a 4-yr old.  And even though this equation never quite works out, I continue to apply it to my job.  

Today, for example, Trixie and I decided to take The Dogz on a walk that would culminate in our arrival at Dash's bus stop.  

What actually happened?  About 3 blocks from the bus stop (and about 3 minutes from the bus' arrival), Trixie totally maxes out her energy.  After much coaxing and cheering, we get another block further when I see that great yellow submarine coming around the corner.  Fortunately, T-Money was smoking relaxing in her driveway so Trixie could stop and rest while I literally sprinted to the bus stop, two crazy dogz in tow.  

I was startled by how fast and hard my legs were moving.  When I started leaping over bushes and knocking baby strollers over, the scene became very Ferris Beuler - esque.  That image was only in my head though and I have no idea what I actually looked like, racing down the hill in my tie-dyed tshirt, curls and dogs flying behind me.  Oh, and did I mention that The Dogz are currently sporting this look: 
This is a pretty common problem for me (the tired bebe, not the cone heads).  Last summer I took les bebes to an amusement park and I somehow ended up having to carry both of them across a 200-degree parking lot. I keep asking myself what step in my equation I'm getting wrong.  

Perhaps I shouldn't have reacted to Trixie's complaints of being cold by encouraging her to run the first two blocks.  Maybe I shouldn't have let her wear her sparkly heels without socks.  Or maybe I shouldn't base my equation on a stereotype that, like 80% of the clothes in my closet, doesn't quite fit me anymore.  


  1. I would expect a 4-year-old to have MORE energy than an obese deadhead. 4-year-olds certianly have more energy than I do.

  2. The problem with the equation is that you somehow have to take into account that a preschooler can go from crazy hyper to a dead stop in about, well, two blocks. There is no in between. I believe you may have to go to MIT to have that equation figured out.