Remember our dog fiasco of last week? We hadn't had the thing out of the house 24 hours before Coco got on the computer looking for more. Initially, I thought she was crazy.
I should clarify. I thought she was crazier. I would walk past her as she furiously thumbed through pages in an encyclopedia of dogs, and I would shake my head sadly, imagining her inevitable committal, the subsequent willing of the chirrens to me, and the Lifetime movie they'd make of the whole thing. Then I spent my laundry time composing a letter to Bette Midler, offering her the role of Nanny Garcia in the biopic.
Saturday, when Coco announced she was carting us all out to the Fairfax County Human Society FARM, I was all, "Ho Hum, wonder which kid's going to slip in the mud and which kid's going to fling themselves at a dog we can't get?"
I guess FOR ONCE I was wrong because after we'd successfully navigated up the muddy hill (with no accidents, I should boast), we came face-to-face with the most fucked up looking dog ever - a Bassador - half Basset Hound, half Labrador. This dog, which we named Jank (because, you know, he looks all janked up and shiz), has the 50-lb head of a Lab and the 3-inch legs of a Basset Hound.
The dog was clearly made for our family. Besides his wacky appearance, this dog is a big ole whore. He can hardly stand not to be petted or cuddled at all times, which is entirely fine with our emotionally needy family.
But even after we'd secured the 3-year old Jank, their was still a hole in our collective heart ... a hole that, as Octuplet Lady will confirm, can only be filled with a baby.
Yep, that's right folks ... we got a dog and a baby dog!!! The lucky puppy is a mutt - a mix between something Shepherd-y and a bear. Seriously, a bear. That's why he named him Juno. But we're just calling him Baby Dog for now.
I don't really know what convinced me and Coco that the house wasn't already full enough. Let's review the cast of characters at this point now:
- Coco Roshambo
- Nanny McCrazy (and between Coco and me, we've already hit our crazy limit)
- Bobby Habibi
- An emo teenager
- The twins
- Les bebes
- Rapscallion (guinea pig)
- Independence Hall (cat)
- Jank (dog)
- Juno (baby dog)
That's just twelve sentient beings under the same roof, but hopefully we've hit our maximum capacity. Unless, of course, you have an elephant or something we could take in.