Wednesday, April 29, 2009

5 Little Frogs Sitting On A Hollow Log

I might have mentioned this before, but I'm also a craft teacher at a local (read: owned by Bobby Habibi's mother) ballet studio.  I call my class Nanny Garcia's Crafting Adventures because with 20 little girls, ages 2 to 4, it's always a fucking adventure.  

The class is actually called Mother Goose or something like that.  I pick out a nursery rhyme coloring sheet and then come up with a craft to go along with.  Yesterday's rhyme was 5 Little Frogs.  Here's my sample craft:

Of course, I left this example on the kitchen table.  

The frog seemed like a pretty simple paper craft.  The mass production of it, however, was not.  

The first step was drawing 20 pairs of frog legs and hands ... and then cutting those motherfuckers out.  That took me about 2 hours and my (lack of) artistic skills left those poor frogs looking horribly deformed.  Some of them had seven toes, some only had four.  But whatever.  Most of those girls can't count anyway.  
I started things off by explaining the ancient art of folding a paper plate over and creasing.  Then the green paint came out and the fun really began.  

I kept trying to explain that they should only paint THE FRONT.  Not the inside, not the back, JUST THE FRONT.  As you might imagine, I had several back-of-the-plate paint spots to clean up after class. 

They were wearing big smocks, but within ten minutes, most of my dear angels had at least one green appendage and quite a few had green faces.  Oh, and my little ginger kid decided to fucking eat the paint.  Wonderful.  

My 4yr old class is much better.  I can usually just shoot the shit with them while they work on their craft with considerably less help required.  They're old enough to know I'm totally fucking nutz, but they're young enough to love me for it.  


  1. "They're old enough to know I'm totally fucking nutz, but they're too scared to run."

    Fixed your blog

  2. i would like to come next week. can we make paper plate pigs for swine flu week?

  3. I too have studied the ancient art of folding a paper plate and creasing it. It took years to master.

  4. Ah yes, arts and crafts with youngsters usually turns into "what the fuck was I thinking?" Fun times.

  5. I ignored that the eggs of toads were that different by comparison with the eggs of frogs, I think one of the slight differences is that toad's eggs are smaller and the color changes a bit.