Coco and Bobby always make a point of inviting me to these things and I'm always like, oh but wouldn't you rather I do something with chirrens that involves more Spongebob and less awkward social mingling? Seriously, I'm one of the top ten most nervous, anxious, awkward people on earth (other people on the list? My Gay Husband, My Older Man Friend, Dora, and Francois Philippe). That's probably how I ended up with this job - I find children soooo much easier to interact with than adults.
But the party was actually super fun, I mean, after I'd had one Jack & Diet Coke (I never let my glass get empty so I'm technically always drinking on the same one). At some point following a few refills, Francois Philippe texted me "I'm upstairs getting a makeover." WTF? NannyGarcia clearly must investigate. What did she find? Francois Philippe upstairs in Coco's bathroom with his 13yr old buddy and his 15yr old sister .... who had cut FP's jeans and put eyeliner on him. Then this little pierced punk starts showing me pics of her 16yr old boyfriend ... who is HOT. This encounter made me feel confused. On the one hand, I'm thankful because ugh, who wants to be a teenager again?? But I also feel old b/c 16yr old boyfriend is HOT and it's illegal for me to think that. To add to my confusion, as I'm going off about the stupid cuts in his jeans, I'm sloshing my drink around and slurring my words.
After the party I took a little nap on my bathroom floor and eventually crawled to my bed.