But seriously, as I was sitting in this middle school auditorium, taking stock of my life, I decided this is simultaneously the lamest and the coolest thing I've ever done.
I'm a nanny, for fuck's sake. I stay up all night baking instead of binge drinking. The only drugs I do are Children's Advil and the only strangers in my bed are Trixie's dolls.
But, at the same time, Trixie is a hot-tranny-mess and wore her sunglasses to the band concert. Her pink, cat-eyed, sparkly sunglasses. Now that's badass. This week I started a new phonetic approach to teaching Dash how to read and watching him get it is pretty fucking cool. It's fun playing frisbee with Justin and Dustin because they're still young enough to want to roll on the grass and put some theatrics in their throws. It feels good to have a 13yr old be sincere enough to tell you they like being your friend.
Maybe my college friends will read this and think I'm losing my edge. I know they all get surprised that my nanny stories are so tame. But maybe Maggie Garcia isn't nearly as cool as Nanny Garcia. And I don't think I've lost my edge at all. You've got to be somewhat of a badass to keep five kidz alive and in line. I just think The Chirrens Garcia are the coolest damn munchkins on the motherfucking planet and if you disagree I will beat you up and steal your lunch money.
Still don't believe I'm cool? Check out my nanny notebook were I keep all of my lists.