Have You Heard The News??

As many of you may have heard, there's this hip cat named O.Ba.Ma who was trying to do a little thing called become President of the United States.  Fab-o-lous, right?  Except he's black.  Oh yeah, and a little bitty libby.  And our country is still racist.  So, in case you didn't know, this was a BIG. FUCKING. DEAL.  And despite a couple of whatever the opposite of a silver lining is, yesterday was a joyous occasion.  

I have been talking with Dash and Trixie about the election for several weeks and they entirely get it.  Dash has been rooting for The Blue Team ever since Kids Picked the Prez.  Trixie pointed out Obama on the cover of a black power mag in the grocery store (it wasn't Ebony - I got a subscription to that shiz).   And then they got all excited about voting yesterday while Coco and I made last-ditch efforts to smoke the Republican out of Bobby Habibi (...aaaand I'm going to get an email denying this in 3, 2, 1...).  

Since they were out of school for Election Day (which is redonkulous), I took les bebes up to the polls to check it out for themselves.  Luckily for us, the nerdy teenager working the door was charmed by my 3-day dirty nanny jorts and gave us a tour of the entire voting station, complete with I VOTED stickers.  I also picked up a sample Democratic ballot for a kiddy keepsake.  When we got the car, I immediately started lecturing about the historical significance of this election, saying things like, "When you're older, you can look back at this important election and know that you were part of it," while choking back tears at a) how cute my chirrens are, b) how awesome Obama is, and c) what a great nanny I am (duh - you didn't see that coming?).  I valiantly brushed my tears away and turned around to help with a seatbelt and presumably gaze into hopeful, patriotic eyes ........ and Trixie was chewing up her "I Voted" sticker.  And then Dash goes, "So ... we were really good in that place.  You think we could go to Target?"

When all the major news networks agreed that Obama had won, I was lolling about in my bed.  But I GOT UP OUT OF MY BED and literally jumped while thrusting my fists in the air.  And I immediately missed my friend Chocolate.  She's in Albania, but we had made plans (or so I thought we had) to stay connected via the webz.  It was only logical, as Chocolate and I spent much of our college career single-handedly double-fistedly solving racial injustice.  Well, Chocolate did more of the actual programs and stuff while I just got really red-faced and yelled at everyone who didn't agree with us.  Anyway, Chocolate was too busy being coquettish with a guy named Black Moses over in Eastern Europe, so I didn't get to talk to her until this morning. 

But of course I wanted to share this moment with someone, so I called my mother, Mama Garcia, because she's pretty sweet and I knew she and my kook of a father would be watching.  So while I'm jumping around, my female parental figure goes, "Well, you know, JFK was the first Catholic president and that's not really a big deal anymore."  WHAT. THE. FUCK?  This is my first cognizant historical event and my own mother is belittling it.  I get it.  She's a little bit the opposite of young, so she has already seen a bunch of crazy shit.  But I've spent my entire life in Mississippi and I'm still a little baby so this is HUGE to me.  But when I related my discontent, she totally played along, which made me feel better.  And then I called My Gay Husband, and he was crying, which made me feel a lot better (it's all about the hype with me).  

And then this news reporter thought it would be funny to narc some folks out.  That's very bad weed karma, dude.  Remember that next time you're toking in your dorm room and the RA comes a'knocking. You brought this on yourself.  

I've got a lot more to say about this election, so I'm officially back to the blogosphere.  But in other really exciting news, Amy Winehouse's hubby Blake is out of the Pokey.  This is basically the posthumous reunion of Romeo and Juliet.