Affliction

I cut short my morning luxuriating to google "tongue infections," "kid nasty tongue," "fucked up nasty shit on kid tongue," because my Sugah Britches, Dash, has a janked up tongue.  Seriously, it looks like Dash accidentally picked up a prop tongue from the Thriller set.  Little Bill's mom, T-Money, checked it out yesterday and said it looked like canker sores caused by too much citrus. This makes sense as Dash consumes only a few foods: strawberries, apple juice, and Mexican food.  

But this is the worst thing that could possibly afflict Dash because his #1 favorite 

hobby is eating.  He looked absolutely devastated when I told him he had to lay off the strawberries and apple juice for a little while.  I really have to fix this.  The whole world goes dark when Sugah Britches cries.  I've already contacted my personal favorite actress-turned-activist, Susan Sarandon.  If anyone can heal Dash's tongue, it's her.  So answer my phone calls, Susan!!!!